Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
