Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
