At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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