It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
