Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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