Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
