if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
