Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
