Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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