it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
