they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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