I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
