Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
