My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
