would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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