Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
