She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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