Me too!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
