I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
