i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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