This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
