they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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