i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize