It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
