Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
