i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
