better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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