whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
