hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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