I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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