think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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