you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
