I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
