But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
