I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
im six kinds of drunk right now
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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