It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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