shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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