Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
