He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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