you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Your tits are I can't wait for
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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