Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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