We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
