It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
