so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
