ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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