But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
