is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
