windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
