The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Still dying that you shit outside
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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