What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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