He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
