I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
