I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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