know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
