i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
