Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
