The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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