That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
