1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize