Well douche your snatch and let's go!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
